.

Up to now....

2008-06-29T23:27:00.002-04:00

It has been 40 days since my last post.. that's a long time. Allot has stuff has happened..well not that much, just well OK let me talk about it.

OK so i am just going to talk about this fast, i will talk about it in another post.. OK so prom was super fun, my dress worked everything was greet. After party was jokes. Graduated, it was greet, I got 2 awards. umm ya so i will talk about grades and all the info on that in the next one. I am just not in the mood. OK so the stuff below, i just typed before i wrote this so it kinda just starts...

I can feel the change, its coming, i am kinda scared, but excited. Its coming tho, and there is nothing i can do about it. Not that i would if i could. I need it, i am ready. I feel like this chapter has just been dragging on for a hell of a lot more pages then it should. I am Bored, nothing new or exciting has happened for such a long time. But like i said i can feel the change coming. And not that bad change, change for the good. I just hope it comes fast, i don't think i can stand it for another page.

My mind has been buzzing with a million things, that i cant even keep up with. For one second i will think of something, then the next i will be stressing out about another. By the time i get back to the first thing i was thinking about, there is a list of millions. I have just been so stressed out and i don't know why, almost everything makes me stress, i feel like i have this time limit counting down, but then i don't really do much about it.

These days have been going by really fast. I am 2 days behind on most things. Every couple days i wake up and feel like, for example like today Sunday, i woke up, and truly thought it was Friday. How did 2 days go by so fast. It seems like when i have tons to do, like school, it went by fast, but now that i have nothing to do, its going by faster, it makes no sense. It feels like every second its time for bed. Its not like I sleep all day, I wake up at like 9ish each day, and go to bed at 12-2ish.

It does not even feel like summer, i know its not been that long so far, but every year it would feel like summer. Now it just feels like this weird long ass march break. I don't even have a grain of sand, of feeling of summer in me. Its not there at all. Its sad really, i love summer, i get excited, I want to do stuff. But me, now.. nothing, i am not excited. Everything feels grey, and nothing connects. I feel like i am in this weird situation, it feels unknown , and not like summer, and i don't know ...kind of feeling. It feels like this rut, that i cant get out of, that just drags on, and has this weird time thing going on.

I don't have a clue whats going on, all i know is i am just going to go with the flow.

NOTE TO SELF: realizing stuff sucks

By: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Sunday/Monday June, 29/30, 2008
12:15 AM
Listing to: -

ohh god

2008-05-20T19:19:00.003-04:00

*deep breath*

Ok, so things are coming to an end. Ohh god i just want to run away and hide, man i just thought to my self, i never want to face anything, i always just wanna run away and deal with it later, but we all know that does not work. =S.

So 17 school days until our first exams =( like wtf.. URG i have so much to do, but i am a stupid procrastinator. And i have "things" ;) running throw my head, its hard to concentrate. Oh ya so on the 28th i have to go to Sheridan to wright an English exam, so that should be fun. That's also arts fest day at my school (which is always soo much fun =)), ohh and the poster for arts fest is done , and i am pissed.. well kinda. I always wanted to be on that dam fucking poster, but ya ovi i am not on it.

So i got my prom ticket today =). I am super excited for it. But idk at first i was like ya i want to go with someone, but then i was like no who would go with me (and no i am not trying to be all emo and shit) , then i was like actually going with someone would suck ass, i wanna enjoy this with my friends, so i thought going as a group would be super fun, and u know how u get a pic with your date, i think i pic with all my close friends would be soo pro. But ya... most of my close friends are going with people, and don't wanna do the group pic.. so ya then out of my close friends its just me and mike, then that would be like a date kinda thing, and i don't wanna do that. And he is prob going to go with someone anyway so ya. Idk am i suppost to be going with someone , because idk it just seams like how others view it, u must have a date
and "your ONLY get ONE ticket".
god idk what i am supposed to do.... i don't just wanna go with some random guy.. how the fuck am i supposed to get a date, i dont have a boyfriend..and i actually never have had a boyfriend, so what am i supposed to do. go by my self i guess.

ya so idk what i should do, school is almost over, which sucks, and things are coming to an end, and prom and urg life its self... ok i am going to stop, this was one of my most random post =)

By: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Tuesday May, 20, 2008 8:34PM
Listing to: Empty - Metric

I..

2008-05-18T22:06:00.002-04:00

Wish I had someone to talk to, but i have a hard time trusting people, because usually they tell someone else. =(

By: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Sunday May, 18, 2008 10:10PM
Listing to: Hometown Glory - Adele

MAY =S

2008-05-04T15:29:00.005-04:00

WOW
Its May.. how did that happen... i just have to say it out loude..May..ok so May is a month i just kinda hate.. and love all at the same time. The reasons for hating it. 1) People bourn in at the beggining of this month our taurus, i just never get along with taurus people, maby not at first, but i allways end up just not liking them or getting in fights with them, we just dont think the same, ahaah. 2) School is almost over, which means this month is going to be filled with stress of getting work done on time, and getting the best marks. 3) running out of time, i guess it kinda fits in with # 2, but u allways feel like your running out of time for grade, homework, making friends with people, trying to get with that guy u like, if u dont get an email or something by the summer, you probably have no chance. But the resaons for liking may 1) good weather, its not to hot or to cold .. just right =) 2) school is ending, i know i said that in the bad part, but its also good.

So there is now only about 30 days left of school before exams, thats 30 days to finish all my work, 30 days to get my marks high, 30 days to work on my prom dress and stuff, 30 days left with this guy i like, and i hope to try and get with .. in 30 days (ahha wow), 30 days to basicaly plan with my firend whats happening this summer, and whatever eles i am forgetting.

Man thats crazy, and like i said very stressful time of year. I also have to do all this college stuff like talk to O.S.A.P, and plan out money stuff, and plans on transpertation each day, and all that fun stuff. And that reminds me i have to talk to my school and tell them i am not coming back!!!

I am super excited i am leaving, you know i was kinda wanting to stay an extra year, becasue all my freinds were and i felt i was not redy to go. But now i am SO redy, i am glad i told my self to just go for it , and not stop my life to be with my friends. I am redy for something new, new people, new atmospher. Just start off new. I am redy for a new adventure!

So lets make some gouls for myself, from now untill ....College?

> Get the photography award ( for highest mark in all the grade 12 photogrpahy classes)
> Make my Prom dress FUCKING AMAZING
> Make this summer super pro!
> Maby get a job, kinda dont want one, but i need money
> Study and get my G1 before college
> DO some amazing photoshoots/ plane cool ones for college
> Get healthy ;)
> Get a luva luva
> Hang out with differnt people not just my main friends this summer
> Get out of the house and do something everyday in the summer
> Make a photo album about friends =)
> Save money
> Get a pro tan in the summer ,tehe
> Get a tattoo
> Print out more of my photography, and put it in a album

OK that's all i can think of, i will prob add more to the list, and i am going to try and finish them all

By: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Sunday May, 04, 2008 4:43PM
Listing to: Don't speak - No Doubt

Yay?

2008-04-19T16:17:00.002-04:00

Wow so ya its now April, over a month has gone by without one of these, so let me start.

Ok so I GOT ACCEPTED TO SHERIDAN!!! WOOT WOOT!!!, yup so out of how many people applied my portfolio was in the top 120!. I am super excited and super scared all at the same time.

Also high school is almost over =S, i am happy and sad about this. But also that means that prom is coming up, today i got some fabric to start making my dress. Its going to be super cool, i will post a picture when i am done.

Talking about school, its been good, its going by fast, i have great marks in all of my classes!

hmmm well ya i don't know what Else has happened..OHH ya sears drama festival has gone and past. Alot of people said we were the best of the night. We did not get to move onto the next round, but it was super fun.

well i am keeping this short, i gtg get ready to go out so i will ttyl (L)

Bye: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Saturday April, 19, 2008 4:28PM
Listing to: ... my thoughts

Nothing

2008-03-16T15:59:00.005-04:00

HEY!!!!

So its been 2 weeks since my last post... what has happened, hmm lets see... NOTHING, that's right nothing has happened. Ok well obviously something has happened, just not exciting or anything. The week of the 3rd, to the 7th, was just me doing homework, going to my volunteering, basically i was procrastinating because i knew that march break was next week, and i convinced my self that i would do all i needed to do over the week we get off. But fully knowing that i would do nothing and go back to school feeling like shit because i had nothing done.

So its march break now.. well the last day of it.. i have school tomorrow, lets do a walk through of my very exciting march break ( i am being sarcastic =) ) Anyway so lets start at Monday

Monday: I start March Break out how everyone knows march break.. by drinking. Ohh ya it was a big time party, people were crazy every wear. People were going crazy jumping off the wall. Striping, everywhere u look people having SEX. HAHHA ya well this Monday night was the total opposite, it was me my best friend, and this.... other girl. Just hanging out having a few drinks, watching TV, and going on the computer. It was a complete waste of money, and life. But i guess when people ask me what i did over march break, this time i can say I DRANK!!!!.

Tuesday: I came home, feeling sick. And not because i was drinking, because everyone is getting sick, head colds, and some flu like stuff. its because the weather change and all . ANYWAY so i basically watched TV in bed the hole day.

Wednesday: Did nothing, i still felt sick. I watched some good old family guy. Did stuff on the computer, watched college rode trip, and the other boleyn girl.

Thursday: I ended up all day walking around downtown taking pictures. I went on an adventure in some alleys. which were super scary. Homeless people hiding every wear. Anyways i got some good pictures out of it. Also i did some manual camera work , for my photography class.

Friday: I put my new picture up on deviant art, and i made a facebook group for my photography =) and i was looking for models and coming up with ideas for new photo shoot. It was a very happy and fulfilling day.

So ya that was my fun an exciting march break!!!! ( sarcastic again). So its Sunday and i should be really doing my homework but i am such a PROCRASTINATOR =( i need to get out of this procrastination bubble i am in. I hate procrastinating, its like i want to do my work, but i just cant. I think the reason i procrastinate is because i always get away with it. I always finish my stuff on time, and get a good mark. But for college i am not going to get away with doing something the night before and hand it in. If i procrastinate once i will be screwed. So i just need to get my stuff done. I am going to go to my stuff now!!. Ohh ya and about college i have heard nothing from them. they are suppose to start giving out acceptance stating later in March.. well its the 16th, is that later? well i only have a mouth and a half to find out.. because u have to accept by May 1st.
Ok i need to go to my homework

Bye: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Sunday March, 16, 2008 5:19PM
Listing to: Myriad Harbour - The New Pornographers

Long Time,No Talk

2008-03-02T15:41:00.000-05:00

HEY!!!

WOW, its been ALMOST a month since i did a blog!!!, OK well let me think of things that happened. OK so the last time i wrote was February 10th. (also a picture of my fan is at the bottom, i promised to put it up) umm hmm so the week of the 11th - 17th me and my friend heather started working on the LOOP, our school online radio station, which is still in progress. I have been working on this photogrpahy assignment, a 6 sided cube, which has to have a theme, and have 6 elements of design in it, I officially hate this assignment. Ohh well, also in that week it was Valentine's day, i did nothing ah ah, my mom got me and my sister some chocolate and a cute stuff animal. Uhh the week of the 18th- 24th was Crazy, scary, and sad. Well lets start on family day Monday, good thing about that day ..NO SCHOOL, sad part my dad had a heart attack, so he was in the hospital till Wednesday. But i was off school for the full week, cuz he was still week and i needed to help around the house and stuff. Ya, so crazy, but he is OK now, he still has to go to the hospital and get some stuff looked at. Saturday the 23th was amazing , that was Photography Portfolio assessment day at Sheridan college. It was sooo cool and exciting, we had teachers and students talk to us, and we got to look at other students photography, it was soo much fun. I am super excited to go.. well that's if i get accepted. But i am very positive that i will!!!!. Its pro because everything is hands on and no essays .. there is not alot of writing at all. But everybody that i talk to say that its SOOO much work. They say that you have to be super organized and stuff. I am soo scared about it.. but i think I will be fine, i will love what i am doing , ya it will be stressful, and i will have to put in ALOT of work, but that's the career i have chosen and am ready to start it!!!. SO the week of the 25th to today March 2nd was kind of fast, alot of stuff happened,I have been catching up on work i missed on the week i was away. umm cool thing tho, this year is a leep year, one more day of the year was added, i don't know much about it but ya. Also me and heather decided to volunteer at this cool place HCAAT ( Hamilton crew action against tobacco) we are going to go every Tuesday. They are going to start hiring int he spring, it would be super cool to work there, because its only Tuesdays and Thursdays, and some times Saturday. And they are super flexible, which is something i need. Also its a relay good place to work, you are helping get the work out about tobacco and stuff. The people there are so funny!! OHH YA also our school had an art trip to Toronto on the 26th to see Dirty Dancing at the Royal Alexandra Theatre, it was fun, i thought it was cool, SO wow i can not believe that its March already.. Like time fly's by SO FAST!!!.. i remember when months would go by soo slow.. but now its feels like 2 weeks is a month. so this month is crazy for me.First of all... just one more week till March break, but in this week i have to hand in alot of stuff, one because preliminary report cards, are coming out, and teachers need our stuff in. SO ya i don't even what to think of what i have to hand in. anyway , so i also have to get measured for my grad gown. Then after March break we got o school for 4 days then Good Friday, and Easter, also the first day of spring. Then the end of the month is when were preform our play, that we have been working on. I can tell this month is going to go by SOO fast. then April, May June, graduation.. SCARY MUCH!!! OHHH also.. Sheridan is going to start handing out acceptions i think like after or during march break, till the end of April.. SO ya craziness

bye: Melissa Doucette (aka: missymoo)

Sunday, March 02, 2008 12:55 pm

Listing to: Spiderwebs - No Doubt

Paint is fun!!!

2008-02-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

HEY!!!

So today is Sunday, a day i used to hate, but now i love it, very relaxing. So i actully read a couple of chapters in this book i am reading. Now to some people thats normal, but for me , its not. I never read. Anyway so this book i am reading is Northern Exposure-by: Eric Walters. Its about this kid who won a photography contest, and now he gets to go on a trip to Churchhill, Manitoba, to photograph polar bears. So this book is pro, it has two of my favorit things, Photography & Polar Bears. I wish i could go photograph Polar bears. I think i am going to make that a gole in life. I actulay should make a list of things i want to do before i die.

Anyway, so today, well last night, i decided to paint my celing fan. Well for the last week i have been decoratimg my room. I reoganized, and stuff. So there is like 5 main colors in my room. (wich they just happend to be , becasue all my stuff happened to be thoughs colours ahah) Pink, Purple, Blue, Lime Green, and Orange. So there is only 4 blades on my fan, so kicked purple out, becasue its too much like pink anyway. So each blad is a differnet colour. They are in there procces of drying. Then after they are dried i am going to paint white poka-dots on them. I will add pictures to my next post when i am done.

So the first week on second semester is done!. I thing it went good.

Art: started on symblo project, we printed off a symbole thing from the wingding text, i choose the picture that looked like a ship stearing wheel. So u have to do the background cool colours, and the symbole in warm colours, i think this will be a fun first project.

Peer Tutoring: So i am Peer Tutoring a grade 11 photography class. I like the people in it, i know most of them which is good. There is no bad kid that u just want to kill. aahh. I have the same teacher that i do in art, i like him he is a good teacher, which is good becasue i have him all morning. So the only thing bad about this class is that i am not so good with manual cameras, i am more a digital girl. So some time in the class he is going to ask me to show them how to put the stupid film on the wheel, WHICH WHEN I WAS IN THAT CLASS I GOT OTHER PEOPLE TO DO IT FOR ME =S. So i dont know how to do it. But i do have photogrpahy gr 12 and this week coming up i have to do that, so i will ask my friend to help me learn so when it comes time to show them i will know how to do it =)

Photogrpahy 12: So what i like about this class is the first day we started right into it. We are makeing this 6 sided cube which is going to have a picture on each side, displaying the 6 elements of design but we hafve to have a theme, So on friday i was planing on taking out a camera, then tomorow i would develop my film. BUT NO!!, stupid people like to sigh out cameras and not bring them back. So i got no camera for the week end. So this means tomorow i need to shoot, Tuesday: develop my film, Wednesday/ Thursday: Print 6 pictures, Then friday hand it in. And thats if nothing screws up!, So i hope 1) i can get a camera 2) not fuck up my film 3) handel printing 3 pictures a day to finish by friday.

English: english is ok, the teacher is amazing. easing going funny teacher. We had to read a short story and anwer 20 questions on it. Not much going on in that class. I finished everything.

So thats all i have untill next time

Bye: Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)

Sunday, February 10, 2008 , 1:06 PM
Listing to: You only live Once - The strokes

Stuff

2008-02-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

HEY!!!

OK so u know how i was all blabla not getting any offers balbal, well i found out that becasue i am giving sheridan a portfolio that u have to wait untill march for offers. Which makes me happy, and now i dont fell like shit. =) OHH also at the end of the month I have a thingy at sheridan when u give them your portfolio, and go to an information thing, or something. I will have to look up more about it. I am SOO EXCITED, and like %20 scared. All i am thinking is that i have to be happy energetic, outgoing, and show them HOW MUCH I WANT THIS!.

Well, anyway everything is good. schools fine almost done the first week of semester 2. I am excited for my last semester, i think its going to be fun. Also grad photos are next week. Mine is on Tuesday, so ya that should be fun. Umm ya i am keeping this short becasue i have some English homework that is due tomorow. I am trying to keep up with everything and get the best mark that i can in my classes. =)

Bye

Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)

7:15PM
Thursday,February 07, 2008

School

2008-02-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

HEY,

OK, so second semester officially started today!!! so this is my last semester in high school =S.. and for people in high school, they all know that second semester gos by REALY FAST!!!.. which is scary. My whole life i always wanted to get out of school as fast as i could.. but now that i am almost there i want to run the other way as fast as a can. The reality is. i cant, there is no juming into a time machine and going back. at this point i feel like i did not live my high school years to the best. i don't feel like i did much. I did join our high school play/musical for 2 years and this year i am in the Sears drama festival, i did meet some cool people, and i did grow as a person (even tho i dont act like my age some times =) ) BUT i dont feel like i made tons of great memories, i was not into the party scene, which i guess helped me not go on the rong track. I didn't join tons of groups or get involved in school stuff. The years go by really fast. I cant change the past, but even if i did go back, i dont know what i would do different. Ohh well what happened happend, i just have to make this last semester, be one to remeber. Ok well my class's that i have is Grade 12 visual art, peer tutoring ( for grade 11 photogrpahy), Grade 12 photography, Grade 12 college english. i am happy with it. all arts, but EWW English, but i think it will be a good class becasue the teacher is amazing, and thats what makes the class, if you have a good teacher, u want to come to class, and it makes u get a better mark. so YUP! i am a happy camper..ahahha, I hope i can get some awards before i leave, like for Photography, it would look sooo good for college. OHH and about college, i applied to sheridan for photogrpahy, and they started accepting people last friday =) so now all i have to do is wait. I hope i get accepted, if not its another year of high school, and money making, wich is not soo bad. but ovi i would rather go to college. Also it really sucks when other people u know are getting accepted and you have heard nuthing. I am ovi happy for them , but it just sucks. I try not to talk about college to much to people, becasue if i dont get accpted i dont wanna have to listen to people asking. MAN i was just talking to my other friend and she got an offer from a college... like whats wrong with me.. i have heard nuthing, other then letters in the mail, about sheridan email stuff. ok well i am going to stop =)

Melissa Doucette (aka missymoo)
Monday, February 04, 6:23 PM

PS: ok the time when i do this is different from what this site says so at the end of my thing i am going to put the time =)

First (01/30/08)

2008-01-30T19:55:00.000-05:00

HEY!!!

OK, so why i am doing this... no idea.. just thought it would be fun... well i think its because i am a HUGE procrastinator, so this will give me a thing to get away from doing other stuff.. like cleaning my room.. which is very hard to walk in Right now, hhaha, anyway i guess i should say a few things about my self.. ok well my name is Melissa doucette.. (ovi) and umm i am 17, and i am in grade 12, i go to SJAM in Hamilton Ontario Canada. umm I LOVE MUSIC, i am a huge fan of Hilary duff, i have 2 autographs =) and i got to meet her!!!,.. i also love Gwen stefani, she is such an inspiration to me. uhh ohh i am a photographer, and i am hoping to get accepted to Sheridan college this year!!!. umm random facts LOVE seventeen magazine, FAMILY GUY, facebook, umm ya i cant think of anything Else.. wow i am very random ahahha ok well i guess i will add pic of my self and ya.

BYE!